speechless
by Putzie
Summary: Felicity trying to figure out where she belongs. I know my summary sucks but have a read.
1. Chapter 1

Felicity watched on as the three fought against each other, it was like watching a dance but that involved fighting techniques. It was kind interesting to see the movements of the feet and hands and how they can coordinate with one another to hit, block or even move. But looking on, she realised that they were in their own little world and didn't even see her there.

For the last few days now she had been questioning herself if she really belonged here or if they even needed her? It all went down hill when she had told Oliver about his mother and the news about Thea's paternity. She really thought she was going to lose him after all that had happened, but thank goodness it didn't.

But what broke her was when she found out that Sara and Oliver slept together and she couldn't erase that mage in her mind. She came across it while checking in on the security cameras around the lair. To say she was shocked would have been surprising but she had a feeling sooner then later Oliver would fall back into been Ollie the billionaire playboy and that for her was very difficult to watch. She really thought that he changed and was growing into Oliver Queen CEO, big brother, son and hero of Starling city. 

_But I guess old habits, do really die hard...whatever that he said to me was just a lie; I guess he was feeling sorry for me and was letting me down easy. Gosh Felicity how can you be so stupid to ever think that a man like Oliver Queen was going to be interested in you? OMG how could I have been so foolish to fall in love with him?...geez..._

She was rambling in her mind here as she was watching them from the sidelines and wondering if she even fitted into this group. They all can fight and protect themselves from harm but what can I even do that is as close to them? And the simple answer to that question running in her mind was?

_Nothing! Felicity; you can do absolutely nothing to protect yourself if you were ever in danger. _

In the moment she felt her heart squeeze so tight she wanted to cry so she turned her back to face away from them and toward her computers. The very thing she was capable of handling, they were the very thing that gave her comfort to make her feel useful and wanted.

So she took a sit in front of them and made herself useful and tried to calm her poor heart down from the feelings of insecurity in the team. She knew she was been pathetic about it but it brought so many memories of her been an orphan and been alone in the world. The feeling of been rejected and been unwanted was creeping into her and she hated that feeling.

She thought that when she became part of team arrow, she found a place to belong and a people to call friends? How wrong was she? The team only needed her for her IT skills and the information she could get for them.

Her last straw was when she heard them talk trade stories about their battles and scares, but

what made her sick to her stomach was when Oliver told Sara that he had a welcome home party for her and that it was a Queen tradition.

_I guess I mean nothing to anyone not even to Oliver, I thought we felt something but I guess I was so very wrong. I read into too much and got my heart smashed into a million pieces. _

I saw Diggle at the corner of my eye trying to get my attention but my mind had shut down as I saw Oliver kiss Sara.

_So he finally found someone worth caring for to be in a relationship with. I guess am never going to enough for him._

You know what! Screw this shit I am so out of here, I need a long lunch break and damn good coffee. I don't need to sit here and feel depressed and sad about myself. Time to start living Smoak and not letting others dictate your part. You graduated at the top of your class at MIT so I think you can do better then this.

_Get some coffee, fresh air, calm down and lock your heart away and then come back and face them. _

Oliver was just coming towards Felicity to say something when she shot out of her sit with her jacket, purse and running towards the stairs. He was wondering where she was in a rush for and shouted?

**Felicity where are you going? **

"_**I have a hot date with a really hot guy; I mean he had a body to die for and he asked me out this morning at work...hmmmm...maybe I might get laid...opps sorry rambling here. Gotta go see you guys later"**_

She ran out leaving Oliver, Sara, and Diggle speechless for the first time.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Dig? He heard Oliver ask. Yes, -did Felicity say she's got a hot date and is going to get laid?**_

_Yes Oliver I think she just told us that. I wonder who she is going with._

Looking at his friend now he knew Oliver was going to murder whoever Felicity was going to see. One thing he learnt was that Oliver was very protective of Felicity. Even though he kept the poor girl at arms length, he was down right protective of her and maybe a little jealous.

He remembered when the count took her hostage; Oliver killed the guy without a second thought and then there's Barry Allen...the guy had feelings that was so obvious and yet he wouldn't act on them, he'd rather become a green eyed monster the minute a guy shows interest in Felicity.

But then again what right did he have to be jealous that Felicity was going to see a guy, I mean the girl deserved a break from Oliver Queen. Isn't he with Sara now? What is with the damn Lance sisters that make him become like a damn yo-yo going back and fort between them? What fucking part of them was so damn golden that he would throw common sense to the wind and become their damn puppet?

At the moment he kind of felt sorry for Laurel Lance, he never liked her because she always made Oliver look like an idiot but at the very moment he really did feel sorry for her and wondered how she was going to take the news of Sara and Oliver been together. Didn't this shit go down hill because Ollie Queen couldn't keep it between his damn legs? He wondered if Sara even thought about the consequences of what she was doing going to affect her sister.

_**This two don't care about how there actions are going to affect the people around them?**_

He knew something was bothering Felicity but he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable or awkward around them. He knew that Felicity was in a way affected by Oliver getting back with Sara.

He knew that the brilliant IT girl had feelings for Oliver and she was not the only one because it would seem Oliver shared the same sentiment towards her as well, so he didn't understand when he found out that Oliver started a relationship with Sara.

_Why not Felicity? Why can't he give the girl a break? _

Right in front of him he realised that ever since Sara came back she started a chain of reaction that caused a shift or imbalance in the team play. It would seem Oliver was tuned in more to Sara then he was to Felicity. He understood why Felicity became quieter during the last few days and his heart hurt for his friend.

Felicity's role in the team was much bigger then all of them, in the beginning him and Oliver couldn't have done or found the criminals they were looking for immediately. They tried but they both lacked computer skills of a high IT tech person, so it was a slow process.

But the minute they found Felicity Smoak, it was like finding a diamond in the desert. She was like a tower of light showing them the way. Her contribution to the team was far bigger then all of them put together.

They all could fight in physical combat but none of them could hack there way into a FBI data base or anything with firewalls like Fort Knox to get the high profile information they wanted.

Felicity truly is irreplaceable member and he hoped that she really knew that.

He made up his mind that when Felicity came back from her break he would remind her of her value and her importance to not only the team but as someone he regarded as a family member.

One thing was for sure wherever that girl was returning from today she was going to give Oliver Queen hell and he John Diggle was most definitely looking forward to it.


End file.
